From The Horse's Ass October 2004

Joe P: ... he enjoys everything i do with him
Joe P: I'll make him think this is enjoyment
Joe P: ... what?
Joe P: we do sleep together, you know?
Me: Why don't you just order something low fat?
Jon: I might as well stop breathing then.
Joe P: So uh, what's your favorite position?
Ducky: Shortstop
Joe P: (blank stare)
Ducky: What? Nomar is awesome.
Disclaimer: I know this is from Jay and Silent Bob, but it was still funny to hear it.
Ducky: A clit and a bush are closely related.
Joe P: I know what a clit is. It's a group of people who protect animals. And they hide in the bushes.
Adrianne: The best winter I ever had was in California. It was never below 70 and I was happier than a pig in shit.


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