From The Horse's Ass August 2003
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Jon: Pu-Tao Me: are you trying to speak chinese? Jon: its grape in chinese Me: must be madnarin Me: mandarin Jon: no its chinese Me: mandarin is a dialect of chinese |
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EQ: if you don't like the asian stereotypes, you shouldn't have been asian |
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EQ: i didnt go to a doctor or anything... fuck that Me: if it gets worse you should EQ: i hate the doctor Me: cant be that bad to see a doctor EQ: no way man... i have this fear of them... i'm always afraid they're going to tell me i need surgury or i have cancer or some shit Me: you can always get a second opinion EQ: yeah, but he'd tell me the same shit Me: think of it this way, if you find out you're dying, you can at least plan the time you have left Me: you can be like "doc, can i have a note that says im dying?" EQ: yeah, but imagine if you knew you were dying.... it would suck a nut Me: get the note and go up to some hottie on the street and show it to her Me: tell her that you can die happy if she gave you some EQ: i could just write a note myself then Me: can you write messy enough to pass it off as doctor's handwriting? EQ: i'll smoke up and drink a 40 before I attempt to write the note Me: that would work Me: or put a sign around your neck that says "fuck me, i'm dying" EQ: when there's a will, there's a .... fuck... well, you know EQ: fuck, i can't put my sock on Me: you're dying EQ: oh yeah? can you write me a note cause there's this hot bitch who works at the movie theatre Me: i can buy you a 40 EQ: even better Me: dear hot bitch who works at the movie theater, EQ is dying. He can die happy if you fuck him. signed, dr. calvin EQ: "is this note real?" (unziping pants) "yeah, i'm really dying" "well alright then" "SWEET" Me: there you go Me: then after you're done Me: "how are you feeling?" "i'd feel a lot happier if i can come back tomorrow and do this again" "sure" EQ: then after I finish tomorrow, she's wiping the warm blast out of her eye... EQ: "HAHA... I fooled ya, bitch! I'm not dying!" "You're not?!" "NOPE!" *walks out and then gets hit by a bus* Me: lol |
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Legend: help me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me: with what? Legend: there are 6 yo twins at my house Me: haha Me: sucka!!! Legend: its not funny Me: why? Legend: because, i cant have a girl over to fuck Me: not like you ever have any over there anyways |
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Tyree: Is it just me or does it look like her dentures are falling out? |
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Talking about reason codes to get commission at PCF... Tyree: I need an acronym for V and S. Vagina and sex equal money. |
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Me: i dont ever recall a story like that Jon: maybe all u hear from me..is blah blah im a stupid cracker |